1 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,135 KIM: Previously on The Kardashians... 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,971 (BOTH SQUEALING) 3 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,223 - Look at you! - Let's rub our bellies. 4 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:20,103 This is a relationship that I don't think anybody saw coming. 5 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,063 I definitely saw this coming. 6 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,732 Hey, you can't. You can't. 7 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,443 All I need is just to be acknowledged. 8 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,154 - Right. - Do I even mean anything to anyone? 9 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,281 Oh, my God, I'm hosting SNL. 10 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,199 They were like, "Can you sing?" No. 11 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,952 "Can you dance?" Nope. "Can you act?" No. 12 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:40,165 There's more footage from the sex tape that's been out there. 13 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,543 And it said, "Kim's new sex tape," when you clicked on it. 14 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,378 And it's like, over my dead body, 15 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,714 is this (BLEEP) shit going to happen to me again? 16 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:04,481 So Ray J's manager is claiming 17 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,442 he has a sex tape of us in Santa Barbara. 18 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:13,865 I'm trying to pack for SNL, and now I have to deal with this sex tape drama. 19 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,577 Nineteen years, this has been held over my head. 20 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,955 This is the shit that I did when I was young, and I need to own it. 21 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,957 That was 20 years ago. I didn't know what to do. 22 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,251 I had no money and I did not know what to do. 23 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,213 I have all the time, all the money, 24 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:32,884 and all of the resources to burn them all to the (BLEEP) ground. 25 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:37,472 I'll do everything in my power to protect myself and to protect my kids. 26 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,016 So I'm not gonna be shamed by this and, like, bullied. 27 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,643 Don't you think you should call the guy 28 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,770 and say, I just want you to know that this guy 29 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,772 is not the rightful owner of anything? 30 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,857 We don't know what this is. 31 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,527 This could be really, really bad. 32 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,405 So the best thing I can do is stay positive, 33 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,951 make sure everybody stays calm, and just keep things moving. 34 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,662 I'm about to get all my attorneys involved, 35 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,997 to sue the (BLEEP) out of these (BLEEP). 36 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,377 Guys. I love you, but I have a meeting. 37 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,504 Keep me posted. Okay? 38 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:12,132 - Okay. - Sorry. We didn't help you pack, Kim. 39 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,426 If you need us to help you with your looks or anything, we can... 40 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,761 No, not about the looks. 41 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,138 If she needs emotional support. 42 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,639 But she's got to pack the suitcase, 43 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,932 - so she can leave. - She's fine. 44 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:24,310 If you need me to come over after True goes to bed, I can come over. 45 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,354 - I'm not doing anything. - Thank you. 46 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,648 All right. We love you, Kim. 47 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,066 - Love you, Joge. - Love you, guys. 48 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,027 KRIS: Let us know if you need us, okay? KIM: Okay. 49 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,743 (SOFT SONG PLAYING) 50 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,621 Don't quit dreaming until 51 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:47,000 Every dream comes to life 52 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,837 Life 53 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,631 Just keep holding on 54 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,426 It's all a matter of time... 55 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,720 I really wanted to see the houses in Malibu. 56 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,804 Me too. 57 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,307 - But I like looking at houses with you. - Me too. 58 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,643 Travis and I currently live in separate homes, 59 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,228 a block away from each other. 60 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:11,441 And we just want to, like, explore the idea 61 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,817 of living in one home. 62 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,110 This is cute. 63 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,403 This is a cute vibe. 64 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:19,199 We're so in love with our homes right now, 65 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,533 and where we live, 66 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:24,162 that it's going to be really hard to find something to beat that. 67 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,246 - Hey, guys. - Hi. 68 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,208 - How are you? Good to see you. - How you doing? Good to see you. 69 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,090 TOMER: So this is actually one of the most important estates in Bel Air. 70 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,885 It was built in 1934 for a really prominent family. 71 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,553 We'll walk on through. 72 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:44,515 But it's got that really beautiful pedigree look, from the '30s. 73 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,227 KOURTNEY: This house has a really cool style. 74 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,062 It kind of reminds me of, like, 75 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:54,108 old Hollywood, Frank Sinatra vibes, like, which is so us. 76 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,444 - This is Mason's room? - Mmm-hmm. 77 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,030 KOURTNEY: Alabama's. Landon's room. 78 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,615 BARKER: This is Ati's room. 79 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,326 - Yeah, and there's even a nice closet. - BARKER: I like that. 80 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,787 I could see us all, like, laying on the couch 81 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,748 and watching movies and cooking together. 82 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,920 KOURTNEY: My parents had a setup like this, growing up. 83 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,463 With two separate sides. 84 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,299 BARKER: Well, she's definitely got the better side. 85 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,969 You should try them on. 86 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,720 - No, no. - (BOTH LAUGH) 87 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,683 TOMER: So the pool has fiber optic lighting. 88 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,309 It lights up at night. 89 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,728 - KOURTNEY: Cool. - It's really pretty. 90 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,522 - Yeah, so. - KOURTNEY: Yeah. 91 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,906 Oh, my God, people were, like, pissed about the Disneyland video... 92 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,491 - Why? - ...of me on you. 93 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,244 They were just like, "Who's taking the video?" 94 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,912 You guys are at Disneyland. There's kids. 95 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,331 - We're like, "It's our tour guide." - There's kids. 96 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,042 Kissing and hugging is not a bad thing. 97 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:57,005 I'm actually grateful that my kids can see 98 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,924 a loving, affectionate relationship 99 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,635 because they haven't seen that their whole lives. 100 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:06,014 I just think people have trouble understanding 101 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:10,810 how two people can be so in love and affectionate. 102 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,313 - 'Cause they're (BLEEP) miserable. - Yeah. 103 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,480 - Totally. - That's why. 104 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,943 KOURTNEY: Yeah, he was like, "You guys are..." 105 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,446 BARKER: These two are making out in the backyard. 106 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,700 Do you love me now When it hurts so bad 107 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:30,747 Better tell me now Do you love me now 108 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:35,335 Like, all these paparazzi were standing out of their cars taking pictures, 109 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,920 and I was like, "How did they even know I was coming up the hill?" 110 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,672 I think they're just waiting for you, babe. 111 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,132 But out of their cars? 112 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,801 It was so strange, it made me so paranoid. 113 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,845 And no one knew I was coming home. So, like... 114 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,722 - Yeah. - I don't know who would have told on me. 115 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,807 - They're just hoping, I think. - It was just like... 116 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,268 So annoying, that was the strangest thing. 117 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,728 Is Kyles home? 118 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,481 I don't know. I just got to pick something up. 119 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,658 MALIKA: I love this. 120 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,328 Her chickens. She brings me eggs every week. 121 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,997 - MALIKA: She's so cute. - She has chickens over here. 122 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,959 - Oh, there's eggs. - They're so cute. 123 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,630 What came first, the chicken or the egg? 124 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,881 Mind (BLEEP) isn't it? 125 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,467 - I don't know. - I think it was the chicken. 126 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,635 How did it get here? 127 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,805 God. God made humans and then humans produce eggs. 128 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,808 I think God made chickens and then chickens produce eggs. 129 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,684 - Sure. - I have to believe something. 130 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,269 - I have to believe in something. - Yeah. 131 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,354 I don't know. 132 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,148 Hey, me and Malika are in your backyard. 133 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,359 Where is what you wanted me to pick up? 134 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,947 Okay. Bye. She said her security will bring it to me. 135 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,198 - Okay. - In a sec. 136 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,950 Do you want to just sit while they're... 137 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,034 MALIKA: Sure. 138 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,911 KHLOÉ: I definitely need to tell you this. 139 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:55,998 The other night, you just can't even, like, make this shit up, it's wild. 140 00:06:56,082 --> 00:07:00,711 Me, Kim, Kourt, my mom, we're all, like, in Kim's closet, 141 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,756 and this guy somehow 142 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,175 had access to Kim's sex tape. 143 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,635 There was other footage 144 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,762 that was never released, or something like that. 145 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,681 And so Kim, of course, is stressing. 146 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,765 You know, it sucks. 147 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,768 You don't want to do SNL if you know this is coming. 148 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,395 - You have to... It's just... - Right. 149 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,021 The whole thing is so (BLEEP). 150 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,107 No, but she's got to block the noise 100%... 151 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,234 - I know. - ...and you've got to make sure of that. 152 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,485 She's going to do great. 153 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,196 Kim doesn't sign on for things if she, like, doubts herself. 154 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,573 Kim doesn't fail, babe. 155 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,866 Yeah, she doesn't. 156 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,992 She just doesn't. 157 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,329 Kourt is not going to SNL, so Scott's going to come, 158 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:40,585 and before my mom and I fly to SNL, I have to do James Corden. 159 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,421 I just have such anxiety about going. 160 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,048 Like, just, it's never the interview, 161 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,925 it's more the aftermath, like, 162 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,677 now you have to listen to everybody say this 163 00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:53,139 or judge you or overanalyze something you say, or pick this apart. 164 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:57,727 It's just, like, social media used to be, you know, fun and silly. 165 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,855 There is definitely always trolls. 166 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,900 And now it's... Everything is so critical. 167 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:07,904 The way I look. My situation with Tristan. 168 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,363 Is my hair done the right way? 169 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,448 What is she doing? 170 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:13,159 That laugh. That this. Oh, my gosh, she said this. 171 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:18,414 I think I've gotten to the point that it's literally safer to stay at home. 172 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,790 This shit used to be fun. 173 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:23,127 You're totally, sort of like, gaslighting yourself. 174 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,754 You're making up all these scenarios that 175 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,507 - who even knows is happening. - You know, it's kind of like a killjoy. 176 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,799 With all those paparazzi today, 177 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,843 swear I was having a heart attack, literally. 178 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,137 I thought I was having a heart attack today. 179 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:37,266 I mean, anxiety is real. 180 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:41,729 And the amount of criticism and scrutiny 181 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:45,107 that you have to deal with is also very real. 182 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,903 But, I do like that you do deal. 183 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,905 Because you really could run away and disappear, 184 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,199 and decide you don't want this to be your life anymore 185 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,618 because someone doesn't have something nice to say to you. 186 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,037 But then, you'd ruin everything you ever worked for. 187 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,205 Yes. 188 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,253 Saying a mantra like, "(BLEEP) the haters. Tune them out." 189 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:09,423 Yes, I think that is obviously everyone's goal. 190 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,467 But it's so much easier said than done. 191 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,096 I do want to know if there's therapy for, like, overthinking. 192 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,723 You might need to take a deep breath. 193 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,352 I took a beta blocker earlier, so I'm sort of... 194 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,062 Wait, your mom gave you that? 195 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,981 Yeah. My God. 196 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,330 Absolutely. 197 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:44,750 Stressful week. 198 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,460 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 199 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:50,256 Are you going to be excited that I'm doing Saturday Night Live? 200 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:51,507 Yeah. 201 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,342 'Cause you're my best hype-woman. 202 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,556 (LAUGHS) 203 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,058 I won't do that on stage, I promise. 204 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,394 Have the best day today, guys. 205 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,438 - Okay, bye. - Okay, bye. 206 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,774 I'm in New York and I just have so much to do this week. 207 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,819 I don't think people really get how insane SNL is, 208 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,029 and what the schedule's like. 209 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,490 I mean, you come in on a Monday, and you have, like, these meetings 210 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,159 where they pitch things to you. 211 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,161 Tuesday is sketch pitches. 212 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,331 Wednesday is the table-read, where you read like 40 sketches. 213 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,875 Thursday, filming of pre-tapes, 214 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,835 Friday, we start at 5:00 a.m. 215 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,754 Saturday is showtime. 216 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,005 It's a machine. 217 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,215 I really want this moment. 218 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,510 I don't want to be thinking and stressing about something else. 219 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,971 Like, I have a lot on my mind. 220 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,057 - Hello. - KRIS: Hey, honey. 221 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,226 Did you find out what that blogger was going to leak? 222 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,771 No. You really can't worry about it. 223 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,689 You're doing SNL right now. 224 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,441 That's what you need to focus on. 225 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,944 And, I would put your energy there, 226 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,364 and this too shall pass. 227 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,119 All right. Well, I'm going to go finish getting ready. 228 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,204 - I love you. - Okay. 229 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:07,500 Today is going to be a great day. You're going to kick ass at SNL. 230 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,669 And I can't wait to see how the day goes. 231 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,672 Oh, my God, me, too. I'll call you later and let you know. 232 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,173 Okay. Keep me posted. 233 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,257 Okay. Love you. Bye. 234 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,759 Love you, too. 235 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,472 I mean, my mom's obviously right, like, I can't stress about something 236 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,516 that I have no control over any more. 237 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,267 But it is easier said than done. 238 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,396 Wait. So what are you... What are you doing today? 239 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,648 - I'm going to meet Amy Schumer. - Okay. 240 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,735 And we're just... She's been, like, the most support. 241 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,946 She's literally the... just the funniest. 242 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:40,282 But just giving me advice and, like, girl pep talk. 243 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,661 Because sometimes I'm like, "Why the (BLEEP) did I sign on to do this? 244 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,246 Like, I can't do this. 245 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,580 Like, why did I do this? 246 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,417 So, what's the deal with Kanye? Is he coming? 247 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,751 Yeah, he's here already. 248 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,380 He literally took a coach commercial flight. 249 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,840 Stop. 250 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,927 Sat, like, in the seat next to the bathroom. 251 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,680 Kanye is in New York to support me, 252 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,349 but we also have, like, set some serious boundaries, 253 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,685 like, Kanye and I are staying at separate hotels. 254 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,729 I've been really clear with him, 255 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,398 as far as, like, where we stand in our relationship. 256 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,235 Just, "super drama free," is the vibe for this week. 257 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:20,740 He said he didn't sleep all night long, just so that he can get in town 258 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,076 early enough to meet up with Dave, 259 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,997 and, like, go over jokes and really like help and... 260 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,333 Dave introduced us to this comedian, Michelle Wolf, 261 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,377 who is so funny. 262 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,880 We've all been, like, on this thread about the monologue, 263 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,549 and what jokes are funny, and what we should take out. 264 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,218 And we've all, kind of like, collaborated on it. 265 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,263 I cannot believe that he's helping you the way that he is. 266 00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,320 But how are you feeling? 267 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,238 - When did Tristan leave? - Sunday. 268 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,366 He was just in Sacramento playing the Clippers or something. 269 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,493 Okay, think about it. 270 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,953 He just, like, doesn't have his whole world. 271 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,622 - I know. - He is here in LA. 272 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,207 - So it's a tough thing. - I bet. 273 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,627 I am on my way to do the James Corden talk show. 274 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,005 Malika's coming for my emotional support. 275 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:23,135 Because I do get a lot of anxiety by doing talk shows these days. 276 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,929 MALIKA: What I remember about the last time 277 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,972 - you did this show when I went with you. - Yeah. 278 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,557 You sat at the table and he asked you 279 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,893 some insane questions, or you had to eat something nasty. 280 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,394 - I'm not doing that. - I was gonna... 281 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,854 - Not happening this time? - No. 282 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,314 You put an eyeball in your mouth. 283 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,399 I just bit it, and then I literally spit it out. 284 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,151 It was the nastiest thing I've ever done. 285 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,236 CORDEN: You've got this. 286 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,196 I think I might throw up, though, if I eat more. 287 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,407 You know what, though, that would be wonderful for our ratings. 288 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,743 No, you're not going to do it. 289 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,329 (SCREAMS) 290 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:51,914 Oh, my God! 291 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,207 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 292 00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:01,257 I feel obviously much better just, just talking it through. 293 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,843 And, like, it's so easy for people to say, 294 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,845 "You don't know them, don't pay attention." 295 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,929 - Or, "Did it..." - Yeah. 296 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,473 Trust me, I try not to, but when you're walking down the street, 297 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,183 and then even paparazzi is heckling at you, 298 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,018 the same things that you're trying to avoid, 299 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:17,189 it's so deteriorating on your... 300 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,609 ...self-esteem, your confidence, the way that you view yourself. 301 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,946 And even, like anxiety, to post photos on Instagram, 302 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,407 I'm just anxious. Even when I'm like, I barely did retouching, 303 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:30,744 when I'm so afraid to post it 'cause people are gonna say I did this. 304 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,162 It's like... (EXCLAIMS) 305 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,374 You ever think you just tell a couple of people to (BLEEP) off 306 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,294 and it might actually make you feel better and people will back off. 307 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,129 Why did Tristan say the exact same thing? 308 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,256 - I just... - It was like, "What happened to you?" 309 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,968 Malika and Tristan in have this ability that they're able to ground me. 310 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,511 I feel like that's one of the reasons 311 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,096 why I'm so drawn to the both of them. 312 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,390 He's like, "You used to tell people to (BLEEP) off." 313 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,143 All of us got a (BLEEP) off at one point or another. 314 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,562 And they're strangers, tell them all to (BLEEP) off. 315 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,397 You're right. You're 100% right. 316 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,733 I think I need a therapist. 317 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,195 Hey, it's a good day 318 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,447 For a good day 319 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,990 Uh-huh, uh-huh 320 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:14,121 Okay, so after Saturday, I have about 20... 17 days to take the bar. 321 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,082 So I'm going to go. I'll take Sunday off... 322 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,004 ...and just really, really, really go for it. 323 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,839 10-12-hour days. 324 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,716 As important as SNL is, 325 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,636 it's more important that I study for the baby bar 326 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,138 because I have one last chance to pass it. 327 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,015 And then I can't take it again. 328 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,227 So much better. 329 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,064 I need to get more confident at my essays, 330 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,315 but this is my last chance. 331 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,067 You're going to pass it, I'm not worried. 332 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,985 (TRACY SPEAKING) 333 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:48,530 Yeah. I'll be eliminated if I don't pass this time. 334 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,711 KIM: Hello. 335 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,380 SCHUMER: Oh... Hi. 336 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,800 - Are you here? - Oh, my God, this place. 337 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,843 Isn't this... This is my palace. 338 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,262 - Hi. - It's amazing. 339 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,306 - Thanks for coming. - I miss you. How are you? 340 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,392 I miss you. I'm so good. I'm so excited for you. 341 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,476 - Come on, let's... - My God! 342 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:21,230 KIM: Amy Schumer and I have been friends for a few years now. 343 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,608 Of course, she's like, so funny 344 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,361 that I want her to hear what I have 345 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:30,030 as my, like, final monologue, and see what she thinks. 346 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,865 And I feel really good about it, 347 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,450 and I'm honestly not nervous. 348 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,869 That's like, the one thing that I'm not nervous about. 349 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:36,954 I'm so excited about this. 350 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,038 You know, writing jokes 351 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,999 - is my favorite thing in the world. - I know. 352 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,251 That's what everyone says is, you're the best. 353 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,378 I'm the joke person, but you're like the best 354 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,671 - at taking jokes. - Yeah. 355 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,549 Like I... Why are you so great at that? 356 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,593 Like I did roasts, and it was too hurtful. 357 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,971 - I, like, couldn't do it anymore, yeah. - I know. 358 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,723 Wait, let me get one. 359 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,683 There you go. Okay, there we go. 360 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:58,892 What a romantic moment. 361 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,936 - How are you feeling? - Do you want to read it? 362 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,772 - I want to see the latest. - From my phone, so you can see the... 363 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:04,857 Yeah. 364 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,109 So I feel like you should read the one on my phone. 365 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,193 Okay, let's do it. 366 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,154 I don't want too many Kanye jokes. But... 367 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,656 - No. I think like a really, like, one... - One good one. 368 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,782 - One is a great... - Totally. 369 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,409 So there's, like, two or three in here. 370 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,870 - So I'm gonna take this one out. - Let's pick the best. 371 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,371 - This one says... - Is this Chappelle? 372 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,456 Michelle Wolf. 373 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,082 Great. I love Michelle Wolf. 374 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,167 - She's hilarious. - Yeah. 375 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,251 She's a murderer. 376 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:25,836 - Yeah. - Yeah. (LAUGHS) 377 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,922 Dave Chappelle suggested that I work with Michelle Wolf, 378 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,091 who's like the funniest comedian. 379 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,844 And she's really helping me write my monologue. 380 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,473 "Hey, guys, it's so great to be here hosting Saturday Night Live. 381 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,892 "I know. I'm surprised to see me here, too. 382 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,728 "When they asked, I was like, 'You want me to host? 383 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,190 "'Why? I haven't had a movie premiere in a really long time. 384 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,984 "'Actually, I've only had that one movie come out, 385 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,153 "'and no one even told me it was premiering. 386 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,780 "'It must have slipped my mom's mind.'" 387 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,490 Wait, what was the movie? 388 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:55,824 My sex tape. 389 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,242 - Thank you. - Yeah. 390 00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,410 Thank you. Great. 391 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,495 (LAUGHS) 392 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,121 - But the joke on the Internet... - Yes. 393 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:04,041 ...was that my mom had to, she's my manager, she had to broker it. 394 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:08,587 And there's a lot of, like, kind of, sex tape drama happening now. 395 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,799 Where like, people are saying that 396 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,927 maybe there's a little bit more from 20 years ago. 397 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,138 Is there a part of you that's like, "Let's get that out. 398 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,474 "'Cause it, probably it's pretty hot?" 399 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,811 If someone had a video of me, like, (BLEEP) 20 years ago, 400 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,395 I'd be like, "Can we get that out?" 401 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,148 Because if it were today, you know, it's different, but... 402 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,566 But okay, so what's the... 403 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,984 - So I was really upset. - Yeah. 404 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,779 And then I was, like, (BLEEP) losers. 405 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,031 - Do it and I'll sue you or whatever. - Right. 406 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:40,285 And... I just can't, like, I have to just take my power back on that. 407 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,287 - Yeah. - This was 20 years ago. 408 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,747 Yeah, like, please. 409 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,792 So I think, even like, taking the air out of those people, 410 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,044 like just starting off with that is kind of funny, 411 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,880 without being super, like, "sex tape." 412 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,633 I think I just wouldn't do any sex tape stuff. 413 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,594 - Really? - Because this moment in time, like, 414 00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,764 this piece of, like, art or whatever will live on. 415 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,100 And people might not remember it. 416 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,935 - Like, it's not... - Not that relevant? 417 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,062 I don't think you need to even give it any... Yeah. 418 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,898 "I know I have privilege, but I still struggle. 419 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:13,402 "Like most of the things that I wear, it's really hard to pee. 420 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,987 "It's like a whole ordeal. 421 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,447 "Let's put it this way. If R. Kelly dressed like me... 422 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,532 Oh, my God. 423 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,200 "...he may have stayed out of trouble." 424 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,994 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. 425 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,704 - It's too long. - Yeah. 426 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,080 It's a long way to go for... 427 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,165 - Yeah. - Yeah. 428 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,708 Okay, "Oh, Khloé, 429 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,418 "you have the biggest heart. 430 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,086 "It's so big, 431 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,006 "it has room for Tristan and all of his side pieces." 432 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,424 Oh, shit. 433 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,093 "And Khris. Khris, you're not one of my sisters. 434 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,262 "That's not a joke. I just thought I'd remind, you." 435 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,346 No. 436 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,431 Okay. 437 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:46,143 The one thing I thought I had and was so confident in, is my monologue. 438 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,438 So, I'm a little confused now. 439 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,357 - I really want... - I am not obsessed with that. 440 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,442 - Okay. - Okay. 441 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,943 - But, let's keep going, yeah. - Okay. 442 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,242 So I think I can take out, like, that whole middle chunk. 443 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,785 I think so, too, yeah. 444 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,454 Add in what you were saying, 445 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,747 - at the beginning. - Yeah. 446 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:09,249 Okay, then it goes into this, which you'll think is funny. 447 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:13,128 "Something I'm really proud of is that no one can ever call me a gold digger. 448 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,464 "Honestly, I'm not even sure how you become one. 449 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:19,343 "But I asked Corey, and he said that a good place to start, 450 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,803 "is getting a job in my mom's security." 451 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:22,971 That's funny. 452 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,349 Calling Corey a gold digger is so funny. 453 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,476 But you've got to pause for that laugh. 454 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,560 You know what I mean? 455 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:32,689 So I asked Corey, and then give it a beat and let people laugh. 456 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,776 "I really want people to know that I'm more than just a pretty face, 457 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:40,656 "and good hair and a great makeup, terrific boobs and an amazing butt." 458 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,867 If you make it sound like the list is always about to end, but it goes on... 459 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:44,952 Yeah. 460 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,579 I think, like, just choosing the funniest... 461 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,956 - Yeah. - ...strongest stuff. 462 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,833 Today was the first day I had a little bit of anxiety. 463 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,919 - Just like... - And what is it, like, from? 464 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,671 - Like what do you... - Just like, 465 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,173 - "Oh, shit, this is happening." - Right. 466 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,424 - You know? - Yeah. 467 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,759 - It's... but it's... - Yeah. 468 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:01,843 It's going to be great. 469 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,387 It's so cool that you're doing it. 470 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,805 Like, everyone I know is, like, 471 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,974 "That's so badass that she's doing it." 472 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,600 To me, it's, like, you're just someone 473 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,687 who wants to, like, enjoy their life and, like, have every experience. 474 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,355 - Yeah. - And that's what it's about. 475 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,648 That really is what it's about. 476 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,525 And you can even say that. You could be like, 477 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:18,026 'cause I don't know if you guys know, 478 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,070 but I don't need the exposure from this show. 479 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,446 - Like, you know? - Yeah. 480 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,573 Like, I'm not hoping to get discovered tonight. 481 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,994 - Yeah. - If anything, you know, usually I'm... 482 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,204 I have 250 million followers, if anything, 483 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,999 tonight, I just wanted some intimacy with some close friends. 484 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,208 Yes. 485 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,085 You know, you've been so supportive. 486 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,379 Like even when I'm like, "Why the (BLEEP) am I doing this? 487 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,047 You're like, "'Cause you're a gangster." 488 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,173 - Yeah. - You're doing this. 489 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,050 - Yeah. - And I'm like, "Okay, I am. I got it." 490 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,303 'Cause, anything you're scared of, is an opportunity. 491 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,429 It's, like, so exciting. 492 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,722 - Yeah. - Yeah. 493 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,854 I call the shots, call the shots 494 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:54,938 Watch me 495 00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:59,568 Lights camera VIP Photo flash what you see 496 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:03,572 I'm a boss guaranteed Keep your eyes on me 497 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,078 - KRIS: Hey! - Hi, Mom. 498 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,163 Hi, Kris. 499 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,707 Where's the star of the show today? 500 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,961 I heard this is the first show back with an audience. 501 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,046 Oh, stop. 502 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,131 Yeah, there's a full audience out there. 503 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,382 Oh, gosh, yeah. 504 00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,634 They're already chanting, "Khloé! 505 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,386 - "Khloé!" - "Khloé! Khloé!" 506 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:27,846 Are you kidding or being serious? 507 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,557 - There's a major audience. - Not the chanting, but the audience. 508 00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:32,351 - Yeah, I'm serious. - Oh, gosh. 509 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,895 When I heard that I didn't want to just call you and tell you, 510 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,772 I thought I'd come down and check on you, 511 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,608 and see if you were gonna be okay with your anxiety. 512 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,902 - KHLOÉ: Oh, lovely. - You're going to do so great. 513 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:45,155 Oh, I see we brought the champagne out already. 514 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:46,239 KHLOÉ: Yes. 515 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:48,492 Do you want one of my beta blockers? 516 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,911 - I love those. - I know, they're really great. 517 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,246 I'm really lucky because I get to spend 518 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,375 a lot of one-on-one time with each one of my kids. 519 00:22:56,375 --> 00:23:00,003 I know Khloé has a hard time with her anxiety from time to time, 520 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:03,840 so I really wanted to be here today and just support her 521 00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,967 and make her feel loved and special. 522 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:10,055 ...hard to sit in this thing, I didn't plan for sitting. 523 00:23:10,847 --> 00:23:13,433 Maybe I can wheel you out there on a little dolly. 524 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,561 - Yeah, okay. Perfect. - KRIS: Oh, jeez. 525 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:18,146 KRIS: You look so good. 526 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,441 I think anytime that you're in the public eye, 527 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:25,654 it just opens you up for scrutiny and criticism 528 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,364 about every little thing. 529 00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:30,617 And I think with Khloé, she does internalize that. 530 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:35,622 And I think that you really have to have tough, thick skin, which all of us have, 531 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,917 but every once in a while, our emotions just get the best of us. 532 00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:41,336 WOMAN: This is the... 533 00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:45,465 Uh-oh. Hi! Come in for a hug. 534 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,551 I'm really your guest. 535 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:51,555 - Surprise! I miss you. - How nice to see you. And you. 536 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,223 KRIS: Yeah, Khloé's gonna be great. 537 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,183 She had a little... She was a little nervous, 538 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,518 but you're gonna make her feel... 539 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:58,353 - What are you nervous about? - Not about you. 540 00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,813 You've got nothing to be anxious. 541 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,648 - It's the aftermath... - You've got this. 542 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:04,109 - ...of Twitter and all of that. - All that matters is... 543 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:05,444 - (BLEEP) that! - I know... 544 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,946 - Why are you even looking at it? - I don't. 545 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:11,366 It's I have the (BLEEP) paparazzi that still's like... 546 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,577 I always get... It's just an anxiousness. 547 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:14,828 Just everybody's angry. 548 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:18,206 But all you have to remember is none of these things are about you. 549 00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,250 Anybody that's like... 550 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:23,211 It's only a representation and a reflection of them. 551 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,588 That's it. That's it. 552 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:26,590 - You're so right. - It has nothing to do with you. 553 00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:29,551 What somebody thinks of you is none of your business. 554 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:33,555 How could anyone judge anyone and they don't know them. 555 00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:35,891 - Yeah. - So you become 556 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:38,268 something else in their mind, 557 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,854 and at various points, people just go... (EXCLAIMS) 558 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,022 But it doesn't matter. 559 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,483 These words only exist if I give them any power. 560 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,862 They only exist to me if I allow them to penetrate my core. 561 00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:50,989 - Right. - You're right. 562 00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:55,785 You're drinking champagne at 4:00 p.m. on Monday and you're at work. 563 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,078 You've won. 564 00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:59,206 We've (BLEEP) won. Whoo. 565 00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:01,500 All right, I'll see you down there. 566 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,086 - That was a great motivational speech. - Yeah, let's go out and (BLEEP) it up! 567 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,714 - Let's go out and endorse Candy Crush. - Let's go (BLEEP) it up! 568 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,132 Yeah! 569 00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,801 This speech just makes me... 570 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,763 It sounds so corny, but like warm and fuzzy. 571 00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:17,432 I feel understood because I know he's talking to me, 572 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,768 but I know he's had this talk with himself. 573 00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:22,229 - That was so sweet. - Oh, my God, did somebody tape that? 574 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,397 Oh. (LAUGHS) 575 00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:26,733 We need that on a loop. 576 00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,445 - We're ready whenever you are, Khloé. - Do they have a new script? 577 00:25:31,154 --> 00:25:32,656 - Okay. - MAN: Let's do it. 578 00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,034 It's all out of my head now 579 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,954 It's all out of my head 580 00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:43,542 Were you waiting for me all along? 581 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,252 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 582 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:50,590 WOMAN: Khloé, you're on in three, two, one. 583 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,635 CORDEN: Khloé Kardashian is on the show! 584 00:25:54,594 --> 00:25:56,012 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 585 00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:15,824 I am really proud of myself for constantly putting myself out there. 586 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,872 And I will say that Malika is 100% right, 587 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,417 and sometimes I do have to tell people just to (BLEEP) off. 588 00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:29,713 - (ALL CHEERING) - MALIKA: So, so fun. 589 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,299 So (BLEEP) off. 590 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,551 To you. 591 00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:38,263 - To you. To us. - Congrats to another... To us. 592 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,099 That's another one in the can, guys. 593 00:26:41,641 --> 00:26:43,226 (UPBEAT SONG PLAYING) 594 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,146 I feel so free 595 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:47,981 You and me 596 00:26:48,648 --> 00:26:51,818 I don't care what people think 597 00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:55,947 I feel so free 598 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:59,576 KRIS: Kourtney? I'm outside. 599 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,037 Outside? Okay. 600 00:27:02,203 --> 00:27:03,496 Hi. 601 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,957 - KOURTNEY: Hi, Mom. - Everything looks so pretty. 602 00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,626 My God, you haven't been here. 603 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:10,295 What's going on? Where's Reign? 604 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:13,006 My kids aren't here today 'cause they're with Scott, 605 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:15,884 but Penelope will be here any minute. 606 00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,052 Okay. 607 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,970 How are your doctor's going? 608 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,723 - Awful. - What? 609 00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:24,559 Travis and I want to have a baby, 610 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,978 and so my doctor 611 00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:30,607 took us down this road of doing IVF, 612 00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:35,654 and, like, it hasn't been the most amazing experience. 613 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:40,950 Every single person on social media and is always like Kourtney's pregnant, 614 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:44,037 Kourtney's pregnant, Kourtney's gained so much weight, 615 00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:46,456 and I'm like, it's so rude to comment on people 616 00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:49,084 when you have no idea what they're actually going through. 617 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:51,795 The medication that they've been giving me, 618 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,964 they put me into menopause because I don't-- 619 00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:58,468 - Menopause? - Literally into menopause. 620 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,845 - And so I'm-- - Based off of what? 621 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,056 - A drug? - Yes. 622 00:28:03,431 --> 00:28:07,560 I think because I'm so clean and careful with what I put into my body, 623 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,772 it's just like having the complete opposite reaction 624 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:15,735 and is working as a contraceptive instead of helping us. 625 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:19,364 The medication basically, like, put me into depression. 626 00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:22,951 I feel like I've never seen you happier, 627 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,619 so that would, you know, 628 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,205 that would surprise... The depression thing surprised me. 629 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:30,041 And I have everything in the world to be happy about. 630 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:34,462 I just feel a little bit off and not like myself. 631 00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:38,675 Super moody and hormonal like I'm a lunatic half the time. 632 00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:42,595 - And... and that's it. - Okay, well, I got to go. 633 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,222 I think I have an appointment. 634 00:28:44,347 --> 00:28:48,226 Even though Kourtney has three beautiful children, 635 00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:51,312 it doesn't make it hurt any less 636 00:28:51,604 --> 00:28:55,358 if you're trying to have a baby and you've been struggling. 637 00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:56,484 I'll tell you that 638 00:28:56,568 --> 00:29:01,489 I got pregnant in 1994 639 00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:03,324 and had a miscarriage, 640 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:05,910 and my body entirely shut down. 641 00:29:06,035 --> 00:29:08,163 - Mmm-hmm. - It stopped making anything. 642 00:29:08,371 --> 00:29:13,334 I was moody and depressed and, you know, I was bloated. 643 00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:14,669 Didn't feel well. 644 00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:18,298 Everything you just described, the exact same thing happened. 645 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:23,386 I think that we want it so badly because we want to make something together. 646 00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:25,764 Yeah, of course. 647 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,600 You want to bring your own baby, 648 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:31,978 your own love into the world in the way, you know, 649 00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,980 that you know exactly, 650 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:36,024 you both know how it feels to have a child 651 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:37,734 and how to bring a child into the world. 652 00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:40,695 And now you want to do it with the love of your life. 653 00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,822 You'll have a beautiful baby. 654 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:45,825 Probably a year from now, we'll be sitting right here, 655 00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:48,995 and you'll be going, 656 00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:51,748 "Yeah, get the baby. It's crying." 657 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:53,792 - God willing. - That's right. 658 00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:57,545 - You've got to claim that. - Yeah. 659 00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:03,301 Welcome to the future 660 00:30:04,427 --> 00:30:07,013 Welcome to my future 661 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,683 Step into the new world 662 00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:14,521 And welcome to my future 663 00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:17,440 WOMAN: Isn't it beautiful? 664 00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:18,608 KRIS: The table's beautiful. 665 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:20,485 This would look good in your house. 666 00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:22,487 Yeah, it would. 667 00:30:23,446 --> 00:30:26,950 This is one of my favorite places I think in the whole universe. 668 00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:29,661 Khloé and I are building homes next door to each other. 669 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:32,914 They're still under construction, but they're getting close. 670 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:37,001 So it's time to shop for rugs, and we're here at this fabulous store. 671 00:30:37,126 --> 00:30:41,172 Oh, my God, it's such a different vibe than my rugs. I love it. 672 00:30:41,756 --> 00:30:44,050 - I'm a little jelly? - What are your rugs? 673 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,760 My rugs look like me. 674 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,095 Vintage. 675 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,847 - Yeah, that's not my thing. - Not your vibe? 676 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,974 No, but I would love to visit. 677 00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:53,142 (CHUCKLES) You look amazing. 678 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:56,271 On every rug that you look at, you have to do the roll test. 679 00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:59,566 So, start at this end and roll that way. 680 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:01,276 So do the roll test. 681 00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:04,112 - Are you being serious? - Yeah, you have to do the roll-- 682 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,446 You'll ruin your bun. 683 00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:08,825 My bun is, you know, hairsprayed to the gods. 684 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:13,246 My mom, she will get down and dirty and she will do a carpet roll test. 685 00:31:13,246 --> 00:31:16,499 She'll get down on her knees and I'm sure do a handful of things. 686 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:19,043 But, you know, the roll test is definitely one of them. 687 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:22,046 You just have to lay here and just say, 688 00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:25,133 "if I was laying on this carpet, how would I feel?" 689 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:30,179 Look at the ceiling, lay down and meditate. 690 00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:33,224 Don't give me more anxiety. 691 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:39,731 How great was James Corden the other night? 692 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:42,609 It was good. I mean, it's always good doing those shows. 693 00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:45,153 It's just normally the aftermath that, like, stresses me out. 694 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,613 Did you see the tweets? 695 00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,407 No, I don't check the tweets. 696 00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:51,117 You don't check the tweets ever? 697 00:31:51,784 --> 00:31:53,202 I have to read you a tweet. 698 00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:54,829 - No. - 'Cause it's really funny. 699 00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:57,582 "Currently, watching The Late Late Show, 700 00:31:57,582 --> 00:32:00,335 excited to see Khloé Kardashian and get high." 701 00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:02,128 (BOTH LAUGH) 702 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:04,756 - People are getting high to you. - That's nice. 703 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:07,634 I mean, everyone just tweeting and tweeting and tweeting. 704 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:10,428 It was fun. I mean, he has... Because we... Talk shows... 705 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:13,765 You haven't been allowed to be a guest for a while. 706 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:16,726 We were doing Zooms for a year. For him to choose you 707 00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:19,103 to be the first one back for a live audience... 708 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:20,772 - That's nice. - ...is really special. 709 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:23,358 I still get anxiety. It's not the host. 710 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:26,736 It's just normally the aftermath and just hearing everyone's opinions. 711 00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:28,363 And it's... I don't like that. 712 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:31,574 Well, you just have to learn when to tune out the noise-- 713 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,826 Even like walking around here and all the paparazzi, 714 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,453 I'm still thinking, "God..." 715 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:37,121 And now they're going to... I don't know, 716 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,374 you're just like if it's one wrong photo, 717 00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:42,710 one thing, I'm sitting somewhere and they get... And they're like... 718 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,631 Look at her. It's like who said I had to be perfect? 719 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,174 Who said anything? Shut up. 720 00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:50,551 - You are perfect to me. - No, thank you. 721 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:53,179 - But I am your mommy. - I don't even want to be perfect. 722 00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:55,640 Listen, do you remember in the beginning, 723 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,933 years and years and years ago, 724 00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,602 we started filming Keeping Up with the Kardashians, right? 725 00:32:59,686 --> 00:33:01,771 Just all the wonderful things people said, 726 00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:05,233 and what an inspiration we were, and how they looked up to you girls, 727 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:09,153 and one person would write and go, 728 00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,072 "Listen, you look fat today, bitch," 729 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:14,909 and that one person would ruin your whole day. 730 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:20,081 And you had 5,000 people tell you how fantastic, you know, that you are. 731 00:33:20,456 --> 00:33:22,041 They felt great about you. 732 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,876 All you can do is get up every single day 733 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,421 and do the best you can, love really hard, 734 00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:29,215 take care of your kids and your family, you know. 735 00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:30,299 Amen. 736 00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:34,012 I'm excited for you to start a new chapter in a new neighborhood, 737 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:38,599 in a beautiful brand new house that you designed yourself. 738 00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,643 It's going to be healthy for me. 739 00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:44,355 - I think so, too. - I think. I'm so excited. 740 00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:45,732 We're going to have chickens. 741 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:47,108 - It's... What? - We're gonna have-- 742 00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:48,943 We didn't build the chicken coop. 743 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,611 - Oh, we didn't? - No, they smell. 744 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,822 - We decided at the end of the day. - Okay. 745 00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:54,991 We're going to have the time of our lives. 746 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:56,367 - I'm excited. - I know. 747 00:34:02,915 --> 00:34:04,542 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 748 00:34:15,803 --> 00:34:20,058 We are doing our first days of our promo photo shoots at Saturday Night Live. 749 00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,184 WOMAN: Is she dressed? 750 00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,144 She is dressed. Let me triple check. 751 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,312 WOMAN: Okay. 752 00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:27,315 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 753 00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:31,944 Good. Great. 754 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:40,495 KIM: It's pretty crazy. 755 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:44,874 I had my first table read yesterday, and we read like 40 or 50 scripts. 756 00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:46,751 I've never done a table read before. 757 00:34:46,876 --> 00:34:49,879 Everyone just started picking it up and reading them so fast, 758 00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:53,216 and people were having accents and different, you know, energy, 759 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:56,761 but I'm in every single skit of what they presented. 760 00:34:57,136 --> 00:34:58,554 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 761 00:34:58,721 --> 00:34:59,722 Hello? 762 00:35:10,399 --> 00:35:12,819 Yeah, and we already invited him. I feel bad. 763 00:35:14,028 --> 00:35:15,947 I would totally disinvite for you. 764 00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:23,538 There's one pre-taped skit that they wanted you and Khloé in, 765 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,331 but I think that it could be mom and Khloé, 766 00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:26,749 and they're gonna make it in time. 767 00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:28,876 They're going to leave, like, a few hours earlier 768 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,920 just to get here in time and do that. 769 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,966 And honestly, I think it's funnier when it's, like, the cast playing us. 770 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,899 Yeah, no, I totally get that. 771 00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:54,527 Okay. 772 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:00,700 All right, well, I love you, and I'll call you later. 773 00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:02,326 Okay, bye. 774 00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:07,623 How did your lunch with Amy go yesterday? 775 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,584 It wasn't a lunch, but it was so good. 776 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,003 She's just so supportive, you know. 777 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,629 How was... What was her feedback on the-- 778 00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:14,714 She's just so funny. 779 00:36:14,714 --> 00:36:17,425 Like, even when I hear her talk, 780 00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:19,594 it just, like, it makes me want to laugh, 781 00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:21,762 just hearing her voice and her tone. 782 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:24,557 And then what about the sex tape? Are you going to address it? 783 00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:27,643 I mean, I think I want to say something. 784 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:31,105 I think I've been in this game long enough to know 785 00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:33,149 that, like, you just have to be yourself. 786 00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:37,361 So I want to say things that feel good coming out of my mouth and that, like, 787 00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:42,074 are things I would actually say, and so I'm going to just go with my gut 788 00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:46,746 and stick with it and do exactly what I had planned on doing. 789 00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:49,540 Are you feeling anxious? 790 00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:51,250 I feel a little bit anxious right now. 791 00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:53,127 I've been to SNL before, 792 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:56,339 but only obviously with Kanye as like a musical guest. 793 00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:59,300 I've never seen what it's like to be a host. 794 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,678 I have to work a 23.5-hour day tomorrow. 795 00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:05,765 I've never done that in my life. I've never pulled an all-nighter. 796 00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:07,558 No one gives you a second to breathe. 797 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:11,020 There's no lunch break like you just have to take a bite of pizza, 798 00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:13,439 eat along the way, like, there's no breaks. 799 00:37:13,439 --> 00:37:15,858 There's no nothing, like, there's no time. 800 00:37:15,983 --> 00:37:19,028 I've never experienced anything like this before. 801 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,240 Three, two... 802 00:37:23,449 --> 00:37:26,661 Hi, I'm Kim Kardashian West, and I'm hosting SNL this week 803 00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:28,537 with musical guest Halsey. 804 00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:30,873 So Kim, are you nervous about doing sketch comedy? 805 00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:32,667 Why? I don't have to write sketches, do I? 806 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:33,960 - No. - Memorize lines? 807 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,127 No, they're on cue cards. 808 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,171 Everyone else won't look as good as me, will they? 809 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,339 No, absolutely not. 810 00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:42,969 I just want to make sure that I focus enough to do a really good job on SNL. 811 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,929 Isn't this like a pinch-yourself moment 812 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,722 that I'm remembering how far you've come? 813 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,641 There was a moment where you could not 814 00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:50,017 even get a fashion show invite. 815 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,519 It's either flip flops or UGGs, 816 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:54,397 with a Juicy sweat suit or a dress and heels. 817 00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:57,525 I remember when your dream was like, I want to be on the cover of Cosmo, 818 00:37:57,525 --> 00:38:00,194 and your publicist was like, "Dream realistically." 819 00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:01,279 Yeah. 820 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,114 And now you're hosting Saturday Night Live. 821 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,616 Yeah. No, that's, like, so crazy. 822 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,910 During the part when I looked on the screen 823 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:09,704 and you were like, I'm Kim Kardashian West 824 00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:12,373 and I'm hosting Saturday Night Live, I literally started bawling 825 00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:15,293 because I remember, like, 12 or 13 years ago 826 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,837 when you were going on, like, your first talk show as a guest, 827 00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:19,171 that you were so excited, 828 00:38:19,255 --> 00:38:22,133 I got that vision and it's, like, my God. 829 00:38:22,591 --> 00:38:23,843 I'm so proud of you. 830 00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:24,969 Thank you, guys... 831 00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:26,345 (LAUGHTER) 832 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:29,307 - I only cry... - TRACY: Oh, my gosh. 833 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:30,975 It's so true, though, I remember. 834 00:38:30,975 --> 00:38:34,228 MARIO: It's so true, like, I literally got that vision in there. 835 00:38:34,353 --> 00:38:36,897 Like, she's on Saturday Night Live and it's like woah. 836 00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:39,442 - I love you. - Love you. 837 00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:42,486 KIM: Seeing Mario be really emotional, 838 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:46,824 just reminds me of when his agency told him not to work with me 839 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:50,536 'cause I was just a reality star and that, like, I wasn't going anywhere, 840 00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:53,706 and he was never going to have a career if he was my makeup artist. 841 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:56,542 And he told them basically to, like, go (BLEEP) themselves. 842 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:59,086 I get what he's saying, and I feel it. 843 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,088 I can't really cry because I have make up on, 844 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:04,133 so I'm just not going to go there, but I feel it. 845 00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:05,384 (LAUGHS) 846 00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:08,054 It's really, really crazy. 847 00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,973 - Don't make me cry. I can't. - TRACY: I know. 848 00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:24,070 I am. 849 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:27,156 I'm studying a little bit, and I have to read my monologue. 850 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:30,076 So I'm just trying to do flash cards, read my monologue. 851 00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:33,454 Today, we had to be here at 5:30 a.m., 852 00:39:33,454 --> 00:39:35,790 and I can't leave until 3:00 a.m. 853 00:39:35,956 --> 00:39:39,126 So it's literally almost a 24-hour day. 854 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:42,922 I'd say I was so tired this morning doing one of the scenes. 855 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,215 And it was a pre-taped. 856 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:47,176 "All right, fine. You can divorce me, but I need a lawyer. 857 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:48,636 "Will you be my lawyer fam? 858 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,763 "No, Kanye. Fine. 859 00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,556 "Then you're not getting a penny. Sorry. 860 00:39:52,681 --> 00:39:54,475 "I have the prenup right here." 861 00:39:54,683 --> 00:39:57,395 I'm always afraid of hurting people's feelings, 862 00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:59,438 and I would never go in there 863 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:03,401 making fun of, especially, like, the father of my kids. 864 00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:07,071 It doesn't mean that because we didn't work out that we don't 865 00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:09,573 have, like, a great love and respect for each other. 866 00:40:09,782 --> 00:40:12,326 The divorce is so sensitive for him. 867 00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:15,454 And so I'm already saying that part in the monologue. 868 00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:17,998 - I don't want to, like, make-- - Yeah. 869 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,875 Like, maybe, I could talk to Kris, 870 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,627 and we could think of something funny. 871 00:40:21,627 --> 00:40:24,755 And I could just tell him, like, "Hey, this is super sensitive to him." 872 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,924 I know he'd want to be a part of it. 873 00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,218 I'm just saying, like, because he'd love it. 874 00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:32,972 It shouldn't be disrespectful to him. 875 00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:35,266 So, how about this? Let's put it on the tape, 876 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,601 see what it feels like, and just know that we... 877 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:40,646 This is not unusual for us to make line changes 878 00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:44,150 with things that... So let me get the writers, and we'll work on that. 879 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:02,376 KRIS: We are so excited to be in New York City. 880 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:04,879 We just are so happy to be here to support Kim. 881 00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,339 You know what? I just want to talk to you for two seconds. 882 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:08,883 I'm just saying hi to my daughter. 883 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:12,094 I'm just on a deadline here. I just have two seconds. 884 00:41:12,219 --> 00:41:13,679 Can we call her right back? 885 00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:17,600 I love you, baby. Give me a kiss and I'm going to go. 886 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,770 Sir, can I ask you to leave us alone for five minutes? 887 00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:25,274 I just want to do something real quick. Thank you. 888 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:28,152 When my mom wants the driver out of the car 889 00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:30,029 and to have a private conversation, 890 00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:34,033 there is normally only a handful of things that play through my head. 891 00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:35,743 Did somebody (BLEEP) up? 892 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:38,496 Somebody's pregnant. There's a crisis. 893 00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:39,663 Bye, baby. 894 00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:40,915 Okay, here we go. 895 00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:42,625 Is his window rolled up? 896 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:44,627 Yes, but the trunk is open. 897 00:41:44,627 --> 00:41:46,212 Close the trunk. 898 00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:49,215 So, you're yelling at (BLEEP) a guy? 899 00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:50,549 Close the trunk! 900 00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:52,384 (SIGHS) 901 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:53,844 Excuse me, sir. 902 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:57,223 Would you mind closing the trunk for a moment? Thank you so much. 903 00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:00,226 It's not what you say. It's how you say it. 904 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,310 No. 905 00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,272 - Hi. - BARKER: Hi. 906 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:06,607 - Hi. - Hi. 907 00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:09,777 So I think we secured the date you wanted. 908 00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:10,861 - Really? - Yeah. 909 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,613 And I thought maybe you could tell Khloé... 910 00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:16,951 ...why you maybe want us to all be available next weekend. 911 00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:19,578 Don't even do this to me. My heart is racing. 912 00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:25,125 So, yeah, the 17th is the first day we ever hung out. 913 00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:27,294 Like I told your mom, I've been, like, 914 00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:30,631 madly in love with Kourtney forever 915 00:42:30,631 --> 00:42:33,133 and I believe she's my soulmate. 916 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,136 - And... - Oh, my God, I'm going to cry. 917 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,431 I would like to propose to her on the day that I met her. 918 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,892 Or the day that I first was with her. 919 00:42:42,601 --> 00:42:44,728 Oh, my God, I'm literally crying. 920 00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:46,564 KRIS: I'm crying all over again. 921 00:42:46,772 --> 00:42:49,775 My God, I'm so happy for you guys. 922 00:42:49,775 --> 00:42:52,236 So he called me last night and he said I really, like-- 923 00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:54,363 Oh, my God, I'm so happy. 924 00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:59,535 Just 'cause Kourt is going to be so happy. 925 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,913 I do not cry and I'm crying because I'm happy, 926 00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:05,040 and that's like really (BLEEP) weird for me. 927 00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:06,375 (ALL LAUGHING) 928 00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:09,086 I don't really experience happy crying. 929 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:11,880 I don't know, when I got engaged, I don't think I cried. 930 00:43:13,132 --> 00:43:15,217 Oh, my God, I can't handle this. 931 00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:18,137 He's coming next weekend to do Saturday Night Live 932 00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:20,472 and he bought her a ring from Lorraine Schwartz. 933 00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:22,558 - Oh, my God. - And the ring is ready. 934 00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:24,852 And they're going to fly home Sunday morning 935 00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:29,898 - and we could all be there to share. - I'm having a panic attack. My God. 936 00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:32,985 Yeah, I think Santa Barbara is so good 937 00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:34,445 -'cause we go often. - Yeah. 938 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:36,196 And she wouldn't really suspect, like... 939 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,699 And if you guys were all there, that's a surprise. 940 00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:40,701 So we literally land the 17th. 941 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:43,037 We're so happy. We're so happy. 942 00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:44,830 My God, I'm so happy and I'm so happy 943 00:43:44,830 --> 00:43:47,333 to have you be a part of our family and everything. 944 00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,794 - And we love you and my God! - Thank you. 945 00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:53,672 I love you guys' family and I love Kourt. 946 00:43:54,590 --> 00:43:56,008 And I've never felt better, 947 00:43:56,008 --> 00:43:58,510 more sure about anything in my life, so... 948 00:43:58,677 --> 00:44:02,723 To have this secret between me and Khloé now, and Travis, 949 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:06,226 is really special for us because we're so excited. 950 00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:11,315 One of the biggest things in her life is about to happen, 951 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,692 and Kourtney has no idea. 952 00:44:13,859 --> 00:44:14,860 Whoo! 953 00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:17,613 - Bye, Trav. - Bye. 954 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:21,241 I am not even... So, you know, I don't-- 955 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:23,243 Isn't that the most amazing news? 956 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:26,372 My God, I'm just so happy 'cause she's never wanted 957 00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:31,168 to get married or anything like that, and I know she does now with him. 958 00:44:31,168 --> 00:44:33,462 - And my God, I'm just-- - It's really exciting. 959 00:44:33,587 --> 00:44:34,922 I'm going to have a heart attack. 960 00:44:34,922 --> 00:44:36,757 - Okay, we can go. - I'm so excited. 961 00:44:37,257 --> 00:44:40,219 KRIS: (CHUCKLES) I know. Isn't is crazy? 962 00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:42,971 KIM: Next on The Kardashians... 963 00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:48,936 Today is the day that I am hosting Saturday Night Live. 964 00:44:49,603 --> 00:44:51,689 - WOMAN: Whoo! - (APPLAUDING) 965 00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:54,108 All right. It's happening. 966 00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:57,528 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 967 00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:03,075 Travis came to see me and he asked for her hand in marriage. 968 00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:05,369 Is Scott going to lose his shit? 969 00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:08,372 I'm just worried that they're going to see you guys on the freeway. 970 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:11,542 My mom would be so pissed if Kylie and I were the ones to ruin the surprise. 971 00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:15,337 You guys get off on this same exit and it's a red light, you're screwed. 972 00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:16,672 You'll be at the same exit. 973 00:45:16,797 --> 00:45:18,424 - Oh, shit. - Oh, shit. 974 00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:20,008 - Oh, shit. - ALL: Oh, shit. 975 00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:23,595 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)